THE BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT
Yesterday
was my birthday. The previous evening Brenda, my wife, and I celebrated the
event at our favourite Melbourne restaurant. My two adult children and their partners
flew down from Brisbane for the occasion. Likewise, my wife’s oldest daughter
and granddaughter flew down from Sydney. Brenda’s son and youngest daughter and
their partners and two other grandsons were also there.
This was the first time our children - all
impacted in varying ways by Brenda’s and my respective marriage break-ups - had
ever come together. Our nervousness about this gradually evaporated as the
evening progressed and by the end of a wonderful dinner it was obvious that
everyone got along fine.
However, for me, the highlight of the
celebration was Brenda’s toast. Brenda is a superb off-the-cuff speaker, but on
this occasion she read from prepared notes which, I know, took her a long time
to write. I was truly astonished and humbled with what she read. Part of me
still resists believing it – however, I know it came from her heart.
A TOAST FOR DON’S 70 BIRTHDAY
Welcome
Don, to the Golden Age…… an Age where dreams can indeed come true if we adhere
to a simple guiding principle; that we
never stop “Reaching for the Stars” in all that we think, say and do, for all
that is noble and good and true in us.
Thus
the Golden Age is not reached chronologically, but with the acquisition and
practise of this basic spiritual discipline.
Tonight
as you celebrate your 70 Birthday, surrounded by your immediate family and
loved ones, a long held dream of yours has at last come to fruition.
May
this be the beginning of a new family tradition.
In
the 21 years we’ve been together you’ve often shared with me another deep
longing of yours…….your aspiration to become a kinder, more forgiving and
generous person.
I
find that really strange For if I were
asked to describe you…..two words that immediately spring to mind when thinking
of you are KINDNESS and GENEROSITY.
Don,
there is not one person here, sitting around this table tonight who has not
been on the receiving end of your KINDNESS and your BOUNDLESS GENEROSITY.
Whether
it be your willingness and GENEROSITY to help those in need; or some comforting words said to one who’s
fearful and despairing; or words of
inspiration and motivation spoken in encouragement; or perhaps words of wisdom
borne of understanding………matters not; what matters is your willingness to help
another.
Here
are just a few examples of your KINDNESS AND YOUR BOUNDLESS GENEROSITY.
Your
KINDNESS and your GENEROSITY toward me when I had major surgery in 2009. You
cared for me, and nurtured me, and kept my spirits up when I was down. You
really pulled me through a most difficult time in my life. I will be forever grateful for your unfailing
support, and your dedication to see me well.
The
amazing KINDNESS you showed Ron, my stepfather, in the 4 years between my
mother’s death, and his death.
The
outings you so willingly took him on – to some of his favourite places on the
Mornington Peninsula, and the Yarra Valley.
The
time you took him on the long trip to Torquay to visit his sister and
brother-in-law because it was otherwise impossible for him to get there.
The
almost daily one hour telephone chats with him when he was experiencing his
“Black Dog Days”, as a result of the effects of chemotherapy.
The
night you caught a tram from your work in the city, plus a long walk, to North
Balwyn to support Anna, and say good-bye to her dog, Mischa, before he died
that night.
A
COURSE IN MIRACLES counsels us…….. “To have, give all to all.” If that is so – then you will truly never
want for anything. You will always have, so you can keep giving.
Another
thing which comes to mind is your absolute delight when in the company of any
of our 5 grandchildren – LUCA, ISABELLA, ALEXANDER, NOAH, and SIENNA.
You
are immensely proud of their achievements and successes.
Many
commented on the “brilliant” Eulogy I gave for Ron at his funeral and the
“fine” things I said about him.
I
have always regretted that I was not able to fully express my feelings for Ron
when he was with us. I never told him
how much I loved him and appreciated him……..except maybe once a year, in
birthday cards.
I
regret waiting until he died to say what I wanted to, and needed to say to him
for so long – but couldn’t.
Why
are we so able to express our love and affection in a loved one’s Eulogy but
unable to express our love and affection for them when they are with us?
Perhaps
we’re embarrassed to do so……..or afraid of being rejected, or perhaps we’re
afraid of coming out of our comfort zone?
And
so Don, before it’s too late, and the remorse and regret inevitably gnaw away
at me…….let me take this opportunity tonight to let you know how much I
treasure you.
You
already are that which you are looking for.
It is within you. It is you.
And
we can all testify to that.
As I
have already said, the two words that describe you most aptly in my mind are
KINDNESS and GENEROSITY.
By
definition – one cannot give what one doesn’t have; therefore, that which one
gives, one already has.
It
follows then, that……….
A
HEART IS NOT JUDGED BY HOW MUCH IT LOVES, BUT BY HOW MUCH IT IS LOVED BY
OTHERS.
My
birthday wish for you is that you see yourself as we all see you.
HAPPY
BIRTHDAY DON,
WE
LOVE YOU.
Would you please all stand
and raise your glasses for a toast to Don on his 70 Birthday.
(Brenda
De Lene)
djdelene.blogspot.com
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