ME
& MOBILE PHONES
Okay, I’m the first to admit I’m an IT dinosaur and a
techno nerd. But that’s not the main reason why mobile phones (cell phones) and
I don’t get along.
I can’t stand
the things! Let me tell you why.
It all started
about 20 years ago when I was working for a transportation company and part of
my role was to travel interstate regularly. So there I was one particular morning
at Melbourne airport in a Departure Lounge, dutifully lining up at the back of
a long queue about to board a plane for Sydney.
I was
distracted by a noticeably loud voice carrying on a one-sided conversation. I
looked around me to see who was making all the noise. Weaving in and out of the
queue, was this businessman encircling the passengers to ensure he got maximum
exposure. In his hand was an object that looked like, and seemed as large as,
those chunky walkie-talkies you see in World War 2 movies. Do you remember when
mobile phones were big, unwieldy units when they were first introduced?
Well, there
he was shouting into the thing, no doubt to make sure everyone within range
could see and hear what an important big-shot he was. After he’d wandered past
me for the third time, I said indignantly, “Give it a rest!” But he was so
self-absorbed with his performance, he didn’t even hear me.
Of course,
since the 1990s mobile phones have shrunk dramatically in size and their usage
has grown exponentially, so much so that if people discover you haven’t got
one, they look at you with a mixture of distrust, contempt, pity, horror and
disbelief. It’s even worse than the reaction I get when people discover I’m a
vegetarian!
“You really
haven’t got a mobile phone? How can you possibly get by without one?”
Short answer
– easily!
It seems to me that that the world has gone mad with
mobile phone mania. They’re all-pervasive. There’s no escaping them and the
idiotic one-sided conversations that are afflicted upon you in public places,
restaurants, public transport etc. are nauseating.
Remember the
days when people had private conversations
in public telephone booths? When our pensive moments weren’t disrupted by some
twerp’s mobile phone’s ring, buzz, song, idiotic jingle, shout, hysterical
laughter or squawks going off when you’re commuting to or from work on public
transport? If that isn’t enough, invariably there’s a scramble by the recipients
of the call as they try to find their phone in their handbag, pocket or back-pack
and eventually blurt out their joyous acknowledgment that someone has bothered
to connect with them! Very often their voices are so loud, overflowing with
happiness and excitement, you wonder why they bother to use their phone. Surely
if their caller is within a radius of a couple of miles, they’d clearly hear every
word without the necessity of a phone?
Then all of us
fellow travelers are subjected to every inane word uttered by these inconsiderate
twerps as we collectively pray that 1. the conversation will be short; or 2.
the phone’s battery will go flat; or 3. the person will get off at the next
stop. Regrettably, it’s been my experience that very rarely do any of these
things actually occur.
People seem
to be obsessed with their mobile phones. They’re constantly in their hands as
they check something here, tweak something there, or they’re rabbiting away
texting. Thank god, we’re not compelled to read the drivel that people must be
texting to each other!
And it’s now
taken for granted by service providers and other organizations that everyone
has one of these devices. Whenever you’re registering for something, especially
over the Internet, it’s becoming increasingly mandatory to provide a mobile
phone number. For example, last week I tried to arrange to set up a Gmail
account with Google. Easy, except they only text or voice mail the codes (whatever
they are) to a mobile phone number, otherwise bad luck Charlie. Is this
discrimination or what?
Apart from
this kind of unfair discriminatory inconvenience, life is far less complicated
for me without a mobile phone. So far, no disaster has befallen me, my friends
or my family simply because I refuse to embrace this technology. Besides, what
with the ever- increasing number of technical gizmos constantly being added to
mobile phones, I’m sure that the stress of trying to master the unfathomable,
would send me to an early grave.
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