Tuesday, 15 September 2015



Scene: Oval Office, White House

Subject: President’s briefing on scheduled visit by the Australian Prime Minister

“Well, Bob, what’s on the agenda for my meeting with Prime Minister --- er --- what’s his name --- er --- Joe Howard?”

“No, it’s not John Howard, Mr. President – he was voted out in 2007 and Kevin Rudd became Prime Minister.”

“Oh yes, I remember now. So what’s on the agenda with Prime Minister Rudd?”

“No, Mr. President, Kevin Rudd was stripped of the top job in 2010 in a palace coup and was replaced by Julia Gillard.”

“Strange name for a guy?”

“No, No, Mr. President, Julia Gillard is a woman.”

“Oh. I’ll have to watch my language then,” replied the President smiling wryly.

“Not necessarily, Mr. President, because Julia Gillard lost the leadership after being toppled by Kevin Rudd in another coup in 2013.”

“Whoa! I’m glad you’re all over this Bob, because it’s a little confusing. So, what will Rudd and I be discussing?”

“No, Mr. President it won’t be Kevin Rudd. He lost the election in 2013 and Tony Abbott took over as Prime Minister.”

“Goddam! What’s going on down-under? Ok, so what’s on the agenda with Prime Minister Abbott?”

“No, Mr. President it won’t be Tony Abbott, it will be Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull.”

“What the (expletive deleted)!”

“Tony Abbott just lost the leadership to Malcolm Turnbull in yet another palace coup this week.”

“Goddam! You’d better postpone the briefing until the plane lands in Washington and see who turns up.”

“Good thinking, Mr. President.”

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