Friday, 12 April 2013




There is no such thing as a coincidence.

Things coincide when we are ready.

Nothing happens by chance or by accident.

There are no accidents or chance encounters.

Everything happens for a reason.

Brenda De Lene


Synchronicity is the experience of two or more events which are causally unrelated occurring together in a supposedly meaningful manner. In order to count as synchronicity, the events should be unlikely to occur together by chance (Wikipedia Encyclopedia).

 Be Careful What You Want

When the marriage of my wife, Brenda, broke up after 27 years, she left home with a few clothes, no money and a car registered in her husband’s name. The car, a Mercedes-Benz, had been exclusively in her possession for 18 years and she assumed her husband would eventually transfer it to her name. He gave her an undertaking to do so, provided she signed some papers relating to a business loan (she was ostensibly a director of his business). She naively complied. This mistake would eventually bankrupt her. Furthermore, he reneged on his promise and refused to transfer the ownership of the car over to her.

   This was a very uncomfortable and insecure predicament. It became even more so after I resigned from my job with that logistics company about two years later, because, after three months, I had to turn in the company car. From then on, we thought we had to rely on her ex-husband’s car (she was divorced by then) as our means of transport, because we didn’t have enough money to buy our own vehicle.

   We’d been paying the car’s registration (albeit in her ex-husband’s name), repairs and maintenance costs and had it covered for third party damage insurance only. However, always hanging over our heads was the threat that Brenda’s ex-husband would demand its return. He probably had a legal right to it, although his moral right would have been questionable.

   Apart from this uncertainty, Brenda wanted to be free of this attachment to the past. It reminded her, particularly, of her dependency on her ex-husband and her resulting lack of self-belief.

    We often discussed the situation and we both agreed, for peace of mind, we’d be better off without it. However, with no means to buy another one, we thought we couldn’t do without it. So, on the one hand, we didn’t want the car, but on the other, we were too afraid to relinquish it.

   Synchronicity then took the matter out of our hands!

   The catalyst for the peculiar chain of events soon to follow was when Brenda shared her thoughts about the car with a group, who were doing a workshop with us. She said she wanted, above all else, to be free of the car.

   Two weeks later she got what she wanted in most unexpected circumstances!


We enjoyed walking in the late afternoon or early evening and most days we used to head for Melbourne’s Botanic Gardens or go for a walk along the Yarra River.

   One evening we parked the car on an avenue alongside the river. The avenue is a wide, safe road and we parked under a lamppost near other parked cars. For no particular reason, Brenda preferred to park the car about 800 metres further along the road from where we would have normally parked.

   Off we walked along the river to a riverside cafe, where we sometimes stopped for a coffee. On previous walks we never had anything to eat, however, that evening we were both hungry and decided to have a snack. So, our coffee break of 10 - 15 minutes was extended to nearly an hour.

   Walking back to the car, we noticed in the distance, lots of flashing lights and realized there must have been an accident. As we drew closer, it was apparent the accident was close to where we’d parked. Then, to our shock, we saw that Brenda’s car was involved.

   From the front all seemed well, except the car was awkwardly parked half on the road, half on the curb. When we looked at the rear of the car, we saw that the boot had been crushed practically to the rear window. About 15 metres behind our car, surrounded by debris, was an old sedan similarly squashed in the front.

   A very drunk driver had lost control of his car on the relatively straight road and drove it, at full bore, into the rear end of our car. Miraculously, he and his passenger sustained only minor injuries.

   Brenda’s car was a write-off. The other driver, who was from interstate, was uninsured and within days had disappeared without trace, before the insurance company could claim damages from him and before the police could lay charges against him.

   The circumstances were completely bizarre. Why, out of all the cars parked along that well-illuminated, safe avenue that night, had an uninsured drunken driver, who subsequently disappeared, ploughed into the back of our car? The police, the tow-truck driver, the ambulance officers - even the insurance company - all said the circumstances of the accident were extraordinary to say the least.

   There we were, suddenly and dramatically without a car. Without our own means of transport, our immediate livelihood was in jeopardy.

   Although our plight seemed desperate, we both knew synchronicity was at play. Not only did we get what we wanted, albeit in a most unexpected way, somehow we knew things would work out for the best.

   After Brenda and I received a lift home that night, we realised we were free, at least, from one aspect of the dark cloud of her ex-husband’s presence influencing our lives. Furthermore, Brenda was free of yet another reminder of, and attachment to, her past.

   The lesson for us, as a result of this experience was:


Be careful in deciding what you want,

because invariably, what you want is what you get!



The corollary to this episode in our lives was synchronicity playing the game out to its natural conclusion.

   Following an intuitive thought, I visited a nearby new car dealership. Several days later, Brenda and I were driving a brand new, tiny sedan. It was no Mercedes-Benz, however it was ideal for our needs.

   Somehow, our application to finance the car had been approved. Our weekly petrol bill was immediately reduced by two thirds. Maintenance and repair costs were reduced by hundreds of dollars. These savings nearly made up for its monthly financing cost.

   We couldn’t have imagined, in our wildest dreams, such a chain of events occurring and the final outcome, which was perfect.


1 comment:

  1. But Don, *everything* is synchronicity.

    Don't you realise how incredibly unlikely every unique instant of your existence is?

    Its truly a miracle no-one knocked you over the head years ago.